End of April Rambling.

The weather her has been particularly random. The past 3 days were a high of 86 which had my air conditioner running itself all day long. The days before that? Rain, rain, rain! And today? Wind galore. I don't understand it. 

I did a family session yesterday. I got some great shots but I'm reminded of how difficult they are. The little boy is a bit older than Kaiden so I was fully expecting tantrums, running away and a lack of cooperation haha. It was no different than trying to capture my son. I'm sure I'll be posting some of the pics sometime soon. In the meantime, you can check out a few on the fanpage.

My business website/blog will be officially down in a few days. It was time for me to renew (you have to renew for a year) but I honestly didn't want to front the money when I know that we will soon be in Germany and I won't be pursuing business for a little while. The plan is for me to take a year off but I doubt I will hold to that which is exactly why I haven't "officially" announced it. I'm sure after 6 months of living in Germany I will start getting antsy to get back to shooting. I still plan on shooting a ton but if anything, I'm going to focus more on personal work and spend the downtime honing my skills and better crafting my style. All this to say, I may start integrating more of my work onto this blog. I'm not sure yet...still praying about it. It's been difficult maintaining two blogs, so it would be nice to have it all on one...but at the same time, I'm not quite satisfied with how this blog looks. It's a free service, so I can complain and all the blogs I want start at $15/month and higher. We have a ton of other expenses that the money could go towards...if I have a free service than there is no point...at least at this point in my life :) I ramble.

I've been working on a personal album. It's all about Kaiden's first year. I've taken so many pictures that the world will never see and I'm finally getting around to collaging it all together. With E being gone for training, I've had a lot of time to work on it. It was going to be a surprise for him (for when he gets back) but I know it won't be done in time and I don't want to rush it. I haven't told him about it yet, so I may still surprise him. He does read my blog but he has been so busy with this school he is at that I for sure know he won't have time to see this!

Kaiden just woke from his nap. It's time to go build lego towers and drink apple juice.

Kaiden's First Haircut

Kaiden got a hair cut a few weeks ago. It was much needed...the back of his hair started to form a mullet and his bangs covered his eyes. I didn't want to cut his little, shaggy curls but I didn't want him to look like a girl during our Hawaii trip. I stumbled upon a barber shop in a small town next door to us. What caught my eye was the barber pole. From the outside, it looked perfect. I was envisioningg Kaiden's first haircut pictures to have beautiful light...an old man with white hair cutting his hair...and Kaiden sitting happily along the way. When I told E this, he said something that has been stuck in my head since... "Dianne, I think your photo reality and real reality are way different from each other." He was right. We walked into the barbershop and they had bright green walls. I should've just walked out but the pride in me made us stay. I didn't want to walk out just because I didn't think Kaiden would have good pictures. The whole experience was rather unpleasant. Our normally cheerful Kaiden did not sit happily...in fact, he screamed the entire time. We had forgotten that Kaiden got shots the day before and so he clearly did not want another stranger touching him. We told the barber that and he "joked" about how we shouldn't have brought him in...he had very serious undertones. Everything inside me was upset about the whole situation but E was right... Obviously, I'm over it now lol. The pictures are completely opposite to anything I had envisioned but funny memories nonetheless. We received a lock of his hair and now we can look back and laugh at Kaiden's hilarious expressions.

By the way, I made them all black and white to cover up the ugly lime green walls...just a photo tip...when you have brightly colored walls, it reflects back onto the skin leaving unflattering color in your pictures.

Hawaii Picture.

I only took a few pictures before my camera broke...here is my absolute favorite!

Life Via Instagram February and March

1. Callie cuddling with me randomly

2. Photo shoot at Muir Beach

3. Homemade croutons for friend with newborn

4. Breakfast as local mom & pop diner

5. Watching Kaiden and his gf play

6. Daily walks with the  bug

7. Kaiden stomping on pillows

8. Spilled my Chik Fil A

9. Grateful for the nice breeze from cieling fan

10. Homemade chicken tacos

11. Lazy Saturday with the Kindle

12. Kaiden's new obsession

13. Waiting for daddy to come home

14. Beginning to our day picture

15. New favorite play spot

16. Favorite plant ever...succulents

FYI...My Son is Not a Girl.

So...I realized why a lot of people think that Kaiden is a girl. Every time we go to a store, someone always says something about how blue his eyes are. I don't think there has ever been a point where someone hasn't brought it to our attention. Usually that statement is followed with a "He (or sometimes she) is so cute!" I started to wonder if he needed a hair cut...maybe that is the reason for the confusion. Well, last night we went to In N Out (ah-mazing!) and a woman said "She is just so cute." E quickly corrected her and said "Well thanks, but he is a boy." She took a closer look at him and said "It's those blue eyes. He is just so beautiful I just assumed he was a girl. Now that I look at his outfit I realize he is all boy!" I don't say this just because I'm his mom, but I honestly think that he is just so handsome and has such a perfect, beautiful face that people mistake him for a girl. E even said that this happened to him at the grocery store, and when he corrected the woman her response was "It's the blue eyes!" After she said that, E thought, "I have blue eyes! Do I look like a girl?" haha. Either way, we both take it as a compliment. I'm just so blessed to have such a sweet little boy. 

Here are a few pictures we took of him the other day...you can view more on my photography blog here.

Life Update: February

I posted this on my Facebook status the other day, but I have to post it here. So yesterday, our little family was all playing together. All of a sudden, Kaiden grabbed my pant leg (because that's how he shows me he wants something or wants to take me somewhere) and pulled me over next to E. At first I thought he wanted me to grab him something but when he placed me by my husband, I realized that he simply wanted us sitting next to each other. Both E and I were astonished at what happened. How could a little 15-month old desire something so complex? Does he understand that mommy and daddy belong together and does he long for us to display that love in front of him? He did the same thing again, twice today! This proves that little kids have more than the basic "feed me" "change me" "put me to sleep" needs we think they have. They need both a mother and father. They need attention from both. They need to feel loved and they want to see love displayed. They need more than a care taker. They need more than a sitter. Everytime he does this, it blows my mind and fills me with joy at the same time.

I've been exploring different aspects of photography. I just don't think wedding photography is in the future for me...for a number of reasons. I won't get into that just yet but a big proponent for this change is because we are a military family (aka always relocating) and my business will never take root in one place. I've shared this with a few close friends but haven't made any announcements on my business page/blog because I don't want to make a drastic change just yet. A few days ago I photographed a 5 year old and just yesterday I photographed a newborn. These were two totally different types of shoots, which are both so different from what I've normally been doing. Over these next few weeks I'll be continuing to explore and I'll be praying about the change. We'll see what happens!

Something that has me excited lately is mom-hood. Social media has really brought to light a lot of voices that were never heard before. We now have more access to peoples lives more than ever, and I'm beginning to find out how many Godly, amazing, and creative stay at home moms there are. I never, ever pictured myself as a stay at home mom and so when I made the decision to do so, I felt old-fashioned and outdated. I'm a firm believer that when a woman becomes a mom, her duty is to 1) her husband 32 her kids 3) her home. If she can maintain a job beyond that, awesome! But the first three are exhausting, time-consuming tasks in itself. This is why I struggled with my love for photography so much...it battled with my other roles. That is a resolved, past issue, but I still struggle with feeling alone in the conviction. This is why I'm encouraged by a number of blogs from all sorts of women whose number one desire is to be there for their kids. You can find some of them on the links I love page.

All in all, we are doing great! Lots of change in the future and lots of waiting in the present...

another preview from the 5 year old shoot I did the other day...

Film + Wisdom Teeth

I had my wisdom teeth pulled a few days ago. It was long overdue. I received the x-rays and referral form my dentist early last summer and they had been sitting on my desk until this past December. The surgery was in and out just as they promised, but I remember waking up with tears. It was to the point where I started to hyper-ventilate. Apparently, the medication made me react in such a way that brought out a lot of emotions. I remember dreaming and than waking up to a bunch of doctors around me, almost like in a movie. They brought me E right away and he helped calm me down. His compassion towards me made me feel so loved. I could see how sad he was that I was sad. *Sigh* ... I love him!

I've been on bedrest for the past few days. Since I'm on top of my meds, I haven't been in much pain at all which is a huge blessing. If anything, the most annoying part is not being able to eat normal food. For the first day I was only allowed to have cold liquids. That limited things to milkshakes and protein shakes, all of which are sweet. I could feel my stomach eating itself, trying to devour something a little more tangible than shakes. I'm on day four and I've been sipping down mac and cheese and pasta. I still can't chew but at least my stomach is starting to feel a bit fuller. I can't wait until I can chomp on a giant cheeseburger. :)

Remember my post about film? Well, I finally had a chance to drop off my cheap-o film at CVS today. I DO NOT recommend getting your film processed there. The only reason I did was because I was uncertain of whether or not my exposures turned out and I didn't want to shell out the large amount a good photo lab costs. After seeing that all 27 exposures turned out (yay!), I'm ready to move onto the good film and a good photo lab. Below I've scanned a picture...so you can imagine the quality is lacking. Cheap film + crappy photo development + crappy printing + a crappy scanner. The picture looks much better in person but is still lacking in quality and doesn't do my new film camera justice. In fact, the more I look at it, the more I feel like the scanner over-saturated the colors even though I manually input all my scan settings. None the less, there are no touch ups or post processing done to this picture. What you see is what you get and that's what I love about film...it's honest.

As I mentioned, cheap film + cheap development + cheap printing + cheap scanner = injustice to this picture.

Photos of a Newborn.

New life is simply fascinating. I stood at the hospital holding this newborn baby, and  watched my son  and his Golfish-filled fingers dance around my feet. Only one years difference and still the parallel between the two got to me...both of these boys will someday grow up to hopefully know and love God. 

To see more pictures of this sweet boy, visit my photography business blog here. 

Merry Christmas, From Us :)

We just got back from our 10-day vacation in Florida. Our alarm was set for 3 am and our day consisted of airports, planes, and hours of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse re-runs to keep Kaiden entertained. Thankfully we are back home safe and sound in time to spend Christmas evening around a warm fire :)

I hope you all have a blessed Christmas and take some time to remember the purpose of today. Santa and gifts are a ploy to take away from the real meaning of Christmas, which is the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. The greatest gift we can receive is Salvation through Him and Him alone. Merry Christmas :)

PS. Because of the trip, we didn't get a chance to send out Christmas cards this year :( Hopefully this makes up for it!

Christmas Cookie Exchange

Today I hosted my first Christmas cookie exchange! There were only five of us total, but it actually turned out to be the perfect number. If there had been anymore, we would have had an overwhelming amount of cookies and sugar-high's to last us until the new year. I mixed things up a bit and told my friends to bring as many or as little as they desired. I've done an exchange before where I had to bake a dozen cookies PER GUEST (which turned out to be 8!) and it was a ridiculous amount to make and receive. 

We had a lot of fun conversing over cookies, coffee and milk and left with some delicious recipes to share with our husbands and families. I can't express how grateful I am for the circle of friends God has blessed me with here. Each friend I've made here in California has made this place feel even more like home. I love throwing these little events but it's the friends I share it with that make it all the more special.

By the way, I printed the awesome gift tags from this awesome site --> Eat, Drink Chic

Kaiden's Cowboy-Themed First Birthday Party!

 Kaiden's 1st birthday party was a success! My goal was to make it as stress-free as possible, but despite my efforts I found that hosting a party is a lot of work...especially when you are on a budget! E and I talked about how easy it is for entertaining to take away from the focus of the event. We wanted to make sure that this was all about Kaiden and that he had the time of his life (even if he won't be able to remember it!) I closed all the doors in the party room and let Kaiden roam free. It melted my heart to see him running around the room with a train of kids behind him. Every step and every turn greeted our guests with a giggle and a smile. Of course, he enjoyed his very first taste of sugar which left him energized for the rest of the night. After all was said and done, I was glad the planning was over. I don't think I'll have this big of a party until he can actually remember it! :)

Sadly, I didn't get many shots of him in his full cowboy getup. Now that he can walk it's so hard to take a picture of him without motion blur...

We love you SOOOOOOO much Kaiden and hope that you can at least appreciate the pictures someday :)

For those interested in decoration info...

I wanted to do a theme that would provide inexpensive food, easy decorations and keep a unique theme. Cowboy was definitely the way to go, as Pinterest provided me with TONS of ideas. I made the barn (below) out of a tri-fold project board from Michaels, white duct tape and some paint. All of the centerpieces were Ikea planter pails (.79/each!) filled with styrofoam and topped with peanuts. The red table-clothes, balloons, gingham plates, silverware and clothespins were from the dollar store. I scored a helium tank from Wal-mart for $20 as well. Helium filled balloons cost about a $1 each so this helped save some money. The candy-filled gold bars, sheriff's badges, cowboy platter and cow table clothes were all purchased from various stores online. The adorable horse in our photo booth is actually from Ukraine, believe it or not! It was a gift from my uncle's friend and came in handy for all of the kids. The cut-out props were free printables from an amazing blog (I highly recommend you follow), Oh Happy Day. His month-by-month timeline pictures were made in Photoshop and printed at Office Max since I didn't have enough time to order them through my lab. His birthday letter guestbook was typed on Word and printed on brown paper from Michaels. The s'mores pops were handmade by my sister in law, me and my best friend...AND my best friend also made the cowboy boot smash cake (with an adorable mini cupcake as the spur! -- she's a genius). Lastly, his real birthday cake was made by Safeway and was their strawberry filled, white, and buttercream icing cake -- it was a HIT!!!! So tasty.

Work, work, work!

I know I've already posted this picture on my business blog and fb page but I just had to post here too. I had so much fun doing their engagement session and I can't wait to work on the rest! It's so crazy how God has blessed me with enough work to keep my creativity going but nothing more than I can handle. I suppose you can say that business has been slow but it gives me the perfect balance between mom-hood and my job. Because of E's training next year and everything going on, I don't think I will be shooting weddings (again). I'm really praying about what direction my business should go... I have an idea what I would like to do but it all has to line up with the Big Guy so we'll see...

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9