Success is Hollow.

"Success is a hollow goal."  I read that yesterday and conviction fell upon me. Over the years, I've spent a lot of time wrestling God with the plans I have for myself and the plans He has for me. The more I let go, the easier it gets but there are still days and nights where my earthly desires creep in leaving me unsatisfied.

I love photography but I have to be really careful with it. As weird as it may sound, it is a very consuming job that can easily suck you in if you aren't on guard. The digital era of photography has played a large hand in instant gratification. I take a photo. I quickly edit it. I post it. I get compliments. I feel pride. I want more. I'm always looking to the next shoot. Always hoping for the next publication. Always wanting to keep up with the trends and hoard the best gear. I look at others and compare. I begin to take dry periods personally. If I don't get business, I must be a bad photographer. It's a mix of approval, fame, recognition, false identity, respect, pride, arrogance all wrapped into one ugly ball.  I don't know if other photographers deal with the same heart issues but up until a little after I had Kaiden, this was me and I didn't like the person I had become. I began to realize that the harder I pushed myself the more I lost the part of me that started this job in the first place.

The craziest thing is, when I look at some of the most successful photographers, I see that even they are not satisfied. They still want more. We are all climbing a never ending ladder.

Success is a hollow goal, people. 


Taken from an article I read yesterday . . .

The thing that disturbs me lately is that it seems we've made the goal something else all together. We think the goal [in life] is growing our churches to a certain size or our platforms (pulpits, blogs, books) to a certain fame. How hollow is that? And, how dangerous? Here are a few men who loved our great God and King and were obedient beyond the norm:

• Moses spends his whole life with grumbling whiners and dies without getting to walk into the promised land.
• Samson suicide bombs the Philistines, and when the dust settles, he is dead and the Philistines still rule over Israel.
• One of David's sons rapes his sister and another leads a rebellion against him, dethroning him for a season.
• Jeremiah ends up in exile with the rest of the country after repeatedly getting beaten for preaching what God commanded him to preach.
• John the Baptizer is beheaded by a pervert who gives his head to a 15-year-old stripper.
• Peter is killed, reportedly crucified upside down.
• Paul is killed in Rome but only after he spends his life (with thorn intact) being beaten, rejected, lost at sea, and consistently dealing with people coming in behind him and destroying what he built.

These are some of the Bible's most praised characters and yet their lives didn't reflect the worldly success we view today. Aside from my lame photographer issues, this can be translated into so much more! Do you desire success within your career? your community? even your church? your circle of friends? Who is the audience you are living for? Let me repeat that. Who is the audience you are living for? I've spent so much of my life searching for approval from others. I'm sure I could blame the insecurity on a string of life events, but the fact of the matter is apart from Him I.Am.Nothing. When I view life with an eternal perspective I realize how foolish I was to believe Satan's lie that this earthly success is so important. It is fleeting and it will never satisfy. Tonight was a night that I needed to remind myself this. Every single day I am challenged to keep my eyes on the prize. When I really look at my heart, I am disgusted by what I find but am overwhelmed by the grace God has given me. Photography is a beautiful thing. God has gifted me with an ability to capture life and has blessed me with the tools to do so. I write all this to publicly testify the work He is doing in and through me. With His strength, I refuse to abuse this gift. 

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is , there your heart will be also.  -- Matthew 6:19-21

So whatever you do, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. -- 1 Corinthians 10:31